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The Tissue Test?

For months I’ve been noticing these terribly garish whiter than white smiles. They are unnatural and terrible. I want to grab the people wearing them and scream, “Stop it! Stop ruining your looks! You look like a freak with that ghoulish white grin!” But I refrain. Tonight, on tv, there is a commercial and it actually said that if you don’t know if your teeth are white enough, do the ’tissue test’ and they show this lovely young woman hold a folded tissue (like a Kleenex) up by her teeth and, of course, her teeth were not that white! People. Please! This is an advertising ploy – only!

For years, any art teacher worth their salt would tell you when you go to paint a portrait, people’s teeth match the whites of their eyes, “Eyeballs are rarely just white, but may have deep shadows. A little ultramarine and burnt sienna will kill the artificial white”. This is what our brains are hardwired to be attracted to. NOT, teeth that put the viewer at risk of snow-blindness. Humans are hard-wired to recognize that teeth that are green or black are not healthy and are to be avoided…thus, the reason the color of teeth matters at all…but P L E A S E people, STOP all this insane whitening!

Look around yourself, look to nature, you don’t see that glaring white anywhere else. The “Old Masters” whose artworks still sell for small fortunes didn’t paint people with glaring white teeth…no, the teeth matched the eye-whites. Look at young children, their teeth and the whites of their eyes, match. You were born the way you were intended to be. You, most likely, are perfect, just the way you are.

Surely, you’ve heard or read the term, “You can’t improve upon perfection.” correct? Well then, you were (most likely) born perfect and are growing perfectly and you need to stop messing with perfection. When you move too far beyond perfection you move into the territory of the garish and monstrous…and folks, with way, way too many smiles out there, we have moved into garish territory.

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